LIES! [p]

When you said "LIES!"
[when I said you didn't need me]
Which one was lying?

Broken heart [d]

He's in the hospital and asking for music but no-one understands what he wants as he lies there dying because his broken heart can't be fixed.

Going down in flames [p]

the ball of flame explodes in the viewfinder
setting off false memories of sex-induced vision blurring
taking the picture the photographer shoots
as many as she can knowing
this is the last sunset
she places her camera in her pocket
and steps off hoping
her body with the note
that she'd written to him
would be found and the camera;
hopefully intact;
would convey to him
in the last 637 shots she'd taken
the beauty
of the world they'd shared
apart

After having had

what I consider to be bad dreams for over a month, I've started having one of my favorite dreams again.

I call it The House Dream:

I don't know as I've ever told anyone about the house dream. In it is, obviously, a house.
I'm exploring this house as if we've just moved in, we being my family as it when I was about 11.
It's fairly ordinary on the outside, other than the atrium/greenhouse on the back side. There are porches that go all the way around the house, with doors going into the atrium and back out again on the opposite side.
Inside the first floor is rather ordinary, a large kitchen at the back on the east side, dining room on the west side, family room at the front on the west and 'parlor' at the front on the east side.
A stairway leads up to the second floor from between the two front rooms, and smaller stairs lead up from both the kitchen and dining rooms.
I've explored this house numerous times over the past 38 years. The first floor is fairly constant, things such as the family room and parlor may change sides, or the front door is different, but fairly constant.
The second floor is my parent's and their rooms can only be accessed from the front stairway, or so they think. This floor never changes. The stair leads up to the hall in the center of the floor. The front room runs the breadth of the house and is their bedroom. The second room is the dressing room/closet. The third room is the toilette and the last is the bath.
The basement changes. One time it may be a simple root cellar, the next a dungeon with walls of squared rock chinked with slimey dirt and the next a laboratory straight from a horror movie.
The third floor is the childrens' bedrooms, none of which can be reached from any of the others. The hallways are on the outside of the house, so none of the childrens' bedrooms have outside windows.
The eldest get their choice, and I always choose one that actually has a window and door that looks out on the atrium.
No-one but I can see or find the fourth floor.
This is my favorite, it's a library, full of books that seem to have been there - some for centuries.
The reason I choose the room that I do is because whether I'm in my room or in the library, if I'm sitting in the window seat, everyone thinks I'm in my room, because they can't see the fourth floor.
Sometimes there is another floor between the third and fourth, and it contains rooms of curiosity, filled with collections of oddities that the former owner/original builder of the house had collected.
Sometimes I could bring a sibling to that floor, but not often.
It's nice sometimes, having something that no one else knows about.

I love this dream, because when I start having it again, things start going better and I feel as though I've slept better than I had been. I also love it for the exploration and the possibilities of what that exploration may bring. A new book, a different room, a never seen view.

Tonight I hope to go into the atrium again. It's been a while since I've done more than gaze at it from the third or fourth floor porch. Last night I saw the pool.

You (p)

wander in and out
of existence; haiku
looking for a subject

No speaking (d)

I wake up in a meadow of green grasses, heavy with grain. The flowers of late summer, nodding their heads in the afternoon sun, greet me.

Someone walks up and sits beside me. I stand and move behind him, combing his dark copper hair. I then braid it in the fashion of the local warrior, over the ears and down the back of his head. He looks up, expectantly, waiting for me to speak. I do not.

After, I lie back down and go back to sleep.

He leaves, going back to his war.

Point of no returning (p)

I reached it;
the vanishing point.
Acquaintances do that
yes, you know.

piscean (d)

can't breathe in water
discover that I'm a fish
and caught on a hook

No (p)

I don't miss you,
not one bit.
I don't care,
not one whit.
I'm not crying,
no really, I'm not.
I'm not worried,
not a little, not a lot.
There's nothing for me
that time won't take care of.
There's no one out there
and no such thing as love.

Confusion (d)

The inhabitants of the cave look warily at the newcomer. She sits at the entrance, waiting.
She isn't sure why she's there, last she remembered she was going into the building where she worked and everything went blinding white.

fiducia (p)

I lived once, I think
or perhaps that's not quite true
and I've never lived.
Never having been loved
never loving in return
only lust
had ever driven
no, never driven
me to arms
in which I could find
only trust.
There are,
out there,
arms that would trust me
to fall back into
and hold me
in trust.

The Alice Moment (d)

In a fit of pique I throw the book at the mirror and it floats through rather than breaking it.

Pity, I really wanted to break it.

Wondering, I step up and put my hand on the glass. It seems to float through as well. It doesn't feel strange, so I step up onto the vanity and through the mirror.

Looking back I see that the mirror doesn't reflect anymore, it's like a window back into my room. I put my hand on the glass, expecting it to go back through and it doesn't!

I'm beginning to feel more than a bit like Alice, so I step down from the vanity on this side and explore. It can't be my room, it's clean, neat and tidy. Going out into the hallway I decide that I like this house a lot more than the old one, so I stay.

Walls Doors Lost Windows Mirrors (d)

Walls appearing out of nowhere.

BAM

Doors springing up in front of me.

BANG

Can't find my way.

BLOCKED

Windows that don't open.

CRASH

Mirrors that don't reflect.

SMASH

WallsDoorsLostWindowsMirrors

BAMBANGBLOCKEDCRASHSMASH

Let me out of this dream!

Another maze (d)

I stand in front of the door, it opens and I pass through.
Another maze.
As I work my way through, I see that I must take the correct turn [as in all mazes] in order to make my way through.
To find the end, I must first understand the beginning.
The story of the maze is the story of mankind, life, love, understanding and acceptance.
For every wrong choice I've made in life, there's a wrong turn to take. To find the end of the maze [and perhaps the answer to my question[what IS my question?]] I must make the correct choices.
Knowing full well the incorrect choices that I've made in life, I make it almost half-way through before I take a wrong turn and reach a dead-end.
I don't know what this wrong turn means, but I make my way back to the turning and go the other way.
The choices get more and more numerous as I make my way through. I take a lot of wrong turns, not having been this way before.
Is my life becoming more complicated, or is the life of mankind?
Am I to choose the path that all must needs take in order to make it through?

I Shan't (p)

cry
nor make a scene.
I'll not do a thing
that might be deemed obscene.
I'll keep my own counsel
like Gretel with no Hansel.
Though [of course]
you are not
my brother,
I'll not dally
with any other.
Out into the world
I will go
but only because
I must;
to grow.
And when you come back,
[if you come back]
I'll be stronger
and better able
to pass the pepper
across the table.

Why (p)

Why do you bring me back
from the depths of loneliness
only to plunge me into
those icy waters again?
Why do you speak so prettily,
only to dash my heart on the rocks
at the bottom of the falls?
Why do I fall for you
over and over,
When I know
deep inside
I'll never be
your lover?

00001001 00001110 00010011 00001001 00000100 00000101 (dp)

00010100 00001000 00000101
00000010 00000101 00000001 00010101 00010100 00011001
00010100 00001000 00000001 00010100
00011001 00001111 00010101
00010011 00000101 00000101 00001011
00001001 00010011
00001001 00001110 00010011 00001001 00000100 00000101

Knowing (p)

Knowing that I need you more than you need me,
if I were to close the book,
would you notice it?
Knowing that I want you more than you want me,
if I were to walk away,
would you notice it?

I think [maybe] after a few days
you'd scratch your head
and wonder where the last year [and a half]
had gotten.

The Choice (p)

I had a choice to make.
I chose you
over money,
over status,
over a comfortable life
where I'd be taken care of.
I chose you
because you
excite my mind;
you make me think
you take me to places that even I couldn't imagine.
I chose you
because;



because I chose you.

Machu Picchu (d)

I'm a servant to a priestess, carrying water for her bath and arranging her hair. It seems to be late spring and we are readying for the festival of the sun.
I cook for her, as I am the only servant trusted to create the dishes she must eat before the ceremony.

A dish consisting of monkey, [!] some grain that turns a bright orange when ground and mixed with the blood of the monkey, a red vegetable, kind of like tomatoes and small green peppers that are quite hot. I felt sorry for the monkey, but I was determined that the priestess should have the best possible feast.

Another dish of a fruit and some leaves from a tree. The fruit is mixed with a syrup, some more of the ground grain and wrapped in the leaves, then placed between flat rocks in the fire.

The water that she drinks has to be filtered through layers of cloth woven from her hair.