fiducia (p)

I lived once, I think
or perhaps that's not quite true
and I've never lived.
Never having been loved
never loving in return
only lust
had ever driven
no, never driven
me to arms
in which I could find
only trust.
There are,
out there,
arms that would trust me
to fall back into
and hold me
in trust.

The Alice Moment (d)

In a fit of pique I throw the book at the mirror and it floats through rather than breaking it.

Pity, I really wanted to break it.

Wondering, I step up and put my hand on the glass. It seems to float through as well. It doesn't feel strange, so I step up onto the vanity and through the mirror.

Looking back I see that the mirror doesn't reflect anymore, it's like a window back into my room. I put my hand on the glass, expecting it to go back through and it doesn't!

I'm beginning to feel more than a bit like Alice, so I step down from the vanity on this side and explore. It can't be my room, it's clean, neat and tidy. Going out into the hallway I decide that I like this house a lot more than the old one, so I stay.

Walls Doors Lost Windows Mirrors (d)

Walls appearing out of nowhere.

BAM

Doors springing up in front of me.

BANG

Can't find my way.

BLOCKED

Windows that don't open.

CRASH

Mirrors that don't reflect.

SMASH

WallsDoorsLostWindowsMirrors

BAMBANGBLOCKEDCRASHSMASH

Let me out of this dream!

Another maze (d)

I stand in front of the door, it opens and I pass through.
Another maze.
As I work my way through, I see that I must take the correct turn [as in all mazes] in order to make my way through.
To find the end, I must first understand the beginning.
The story of the maze is the story of mankind, life, love, understanding and acceptance.
For every wrong choice I've made in life, there's a wrong turn to take. To find the end of the maze [and perhaps the answer to my question[what IS my question?]] I must make the correct choices.
Knowing full well the incorrect choices that I've made in life, I make it almost half-way through before I take a wrong turn and reach a dead-end.
I don't know what this wrong turn means, but I make my way back to the turning and go the other way.
The choices get more and more numerous as I make my way through. I take a lot of wrong turns, not having been this way before.
Is my life becoming more complicated, or is the life of mankind?
Am I to choose the path that all must needs take in order to make it through?

I Shan't (p)

cry
nor make a scene.
I'll not do a thing
that might be deemed obscene.
I'll keep my own counsel
like Gretel with no Hansel.
Though [of course]
you are not
my brother,
I'll not dally
with any other.
Out into the world
I will go
but only because
I must;
to grow.
And when you come back,
[if you come back]
I'll be stronger
and better able
to pass the pepper
across the table.

Why (p)

Why do you bring me back
from the depths of loneliness
only to plunge me into
those icy waters again?
Why do you speak so prettily,
only to dash my heart on the rocks
at the bottom of the falls?
Why do I fall for you
over and over,
When I know
deep inside
I'll never be
your lover?

00001001 00001110 00010011 00001001 00000100 00000101 (dp)

00010100 00001000 00000101
00000010 00000101 00000001 00010101 00010100 00011001
00010100 00001000 00000001 00010100
00011001 00001111 00010101
00010011 00000101 00000101 00001011
00001001 00010011
00001001 00001110 00010011 00001001 00000100 00000101